I find myself guilty of favoritism. From favoring my oldest friends over newer ones, or the ones who treat me well, over the ones I treat well.

Favoritism doesn’t always go both ways; it’s often one-sided, especially in friendships. You may be that person, that one person in all of your friendships who does the most, and it feels like you receive nothing in return. I know what it’s like, the feeling ever so painful it feels like your heart has been ripped out. A taste so foul, you fear it’s never going to leave.

You may be aware you are unfair or biased to the one you favor over the ones who favor you. I’ve realized I’ve done the same, so I’ll reveal to you my example. I know I’m not my wife’s favorite, I do not hold that title for her, and it’s alright, but I do for one of my friends. I favor my wife, even though some moments between us are unbalanced, in her favor, which I grant her for a smile worth so much to me.

My friend favors me, and being on that pedestal gives me comfort. Should my wife not be around, I join my friend and we talk about the things we have in common, from shows to books, books to family, or family to annoying dogs who don’t let us have a break. I’ve slowly learned to favor who I’m with, to appreciate the time we share, and enjoy the contagious laughs.

Yet sometimes, I don’t allow certain connections to be shared. Deep down, I still favor my wife. She receives benefits others don’t, benefits that I don’t let others know about. Some benefits are hers alone, few I share among all my friends, even fewer to a small bunch.

Favoritism gives one person comfort and power, favoritism is one-sided. One side benefits, the other loses what isn’t returned, what has been given, is lost. Are you willing to risk that for a side you know doesn’t favor you?

Fortune favors the bold. Not the stupid.

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