Much like pets, when you want something, you really can’t seem to get the point across. You’re either whining for it, blunt about it, or just hope they can read your mind.

Needing something from someone else, like affection, time, attention or the money they owe you is sometimes difficult to bring up. You could sound rude, or not get the right words out when you bring it up. Saying, “You owe me six dollars” to someone who owes you money can make it seem like you only care about the money at the time, and it makes the both of you uneasy.

The one-sidedness of conversations when you or they are asking for something is challenging to bring up, and makes those involved overthink how to bring it up. Tell me, which one sounds nicer?

“Hey, sorry to bring it up, but you still owe me six dollars.”

“You owe me six dollars, but you don’t have to pay me back today, I’m just reminding you.”

“Remember the six dollars I lent you? Yeah? No? Okay, well, I hate to bring it up but I–” And so on.

You don’t have to spiral to get the words out, bluntly say it. “I want the six dollars you owe me.”

But not like that. Gently, but say what you need to, nothing else. “When you can, I would like the six dollars you owe me.”

Certain topics are arduous to bring up or speak about. Like apologizing. Or owning up to being wrong. If you want your girlfriend, boyfriend, or significant other to pay attention to you, you should always be able to ask, even if they’re mad. Know when you’re at fault, though. Be sure to say, “I know I was wrong when I said…Because it really upset me when you said…”

As long as you use your words, you should be able to cross these waters with your partner.

Should you want affection, be like Steve Lacy and simply say, “Baby, I want some of your love.“

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